User Profile

Customize

hawini_tsiwoni

Add Friend
Add Note
Track User
Send Message
Send V-Gift

Hawini Tsiwoni Adults

Castle Keepers

Created on 2008-04-06 01:39:45 (#15313041), last updated 2009-07-26

82 comments received, 80 comments posted

Plus Account [Gift]

28 Journal Entries, 19 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 15 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	The Adults of Hawini Tsiwoni

Bio

We're the adults in the body of an individual with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Meaning, due to intense and repeated trauma, there are more than one person living in the same body. The person born in this body, the original, the core, whatever you would like to call her -within reason- will likely post here a bit as well but has her own journal. She made different journals for the various age groups here so we don't have to censor ourselves. This being the adult journal, you may not want to add it. We are pretty good about using trigger warnings and cuts but not all of us remember to or know how. Please bear this in mind and read responsibly. If we don't know you or don't know where you found us, and if where you found us has no basis in multiplicity or the like, we will not add you so don't bother trying.

LEIGH: I am the core of this system, meaning I am the one who was born in this body. I am currently 29-years-old and am the only one who will continuously age. My feelings about being multiple change often; I feel immense guilt that I had to deal with trauma in a way that created children within my body who took abuse for me. I don't know that I can ever totally make that acceptable. On the same note, I realize this started when I was 2-years-old and I didn't know what I was doing, just that I couldn't handle it and I split. In contradiction to my guilt, I feel immense gratitude and love for all of the people who have come along to help me at all stages of my life thus far. If they didn't come into being, I would be dead. I do not remember a lot of my life up until about two or maybe three years ago. I am slowly recovering those memories when the individual(s) who holds them feels I am ready. Hell, I didn't even know what D.I.D. was until a therapist explained a diagnosis I had been given when I was 16. My first thought was It all makes sense now! I'm not crazy or possessed! and my second thought was Oh shiiiit. What happened to me and how will I live like this and how could I let them live my own horrible abuse for me?! I had a little over a year of intense denial, in phases. That is gone now, but I am still finding out about members of my system. I accept them all with open arms, but fear knowing why they're here when they make themselves known. Every one plays a very important part in my life. They are treated as individuals. If you knew us, you would know they are very much their own people. There are females and males. On the personal side, I am a female. I am engaged to a wonderful and very accepting woman. I am an artist, writer, and paranormal investigator. I am a survivor.
GRETA: I'm Greta. I'm 28-years-old, but I've been here since the body was a pre-teen. I came here older than the body. I've been hidden for a long time due to some malevolent (for lack of a better word) circumstances. When I tried to come back out of hiding, I was under the influence of these circumstances and locked in a room for my own safety and that of everyone else. Our core helped me get rid of those circumstances (which I generally refer to as "dark spirits" but they were not demons) and comforted me. We believe I have depression and I'm told this may have been a way for those dark spirits to attack me. I have started to be medicated inside and took Leigh's advice to live on hope, and that helps me a lot. Leigh, Cassie, Becka and Andie have been so kind to me and accepting of me regardless of what I did to frighten them at first. I am very grateful, beyond words really. I don't know for sure why I got here in the first place, but I think it's because of our grandfather who has been verbally abusive for the entire life of our body. I'm not really sure how to help though. :o\ My voice sounds like our body's voice and there isn't really a whole lot different between me and our core, aside from the fact that I am not the same person. I like nearly all animals and I like jewel-tones like purple and royal blue, and I like gold as well.
BARRY: Hey! I'm Barry and I'm a raccoon. I didn't get here because of outside stuffs. They found me inside in the wilderness around where our home is. I was starved and they took me in since the other raccoons don't like me. I'm very old. I love huggles and eating.
CRAIG: My name's Craig. I'm 28, same age as Leigh was at the moment I came here. I'm very private and fairly shy unless I know a person, though the private thing still applies. So why I'm here and what I do is not for public display. Even though I don't tell people a lot about myself or anyone else in our group, you'll find I'm a nice, sensitive, and very caring guy. I just happen to be very respectful of privacy as well. I'm new here and I'm still getting used to things and getting to know people. Please be patient with me. Thank you.
CASSIE: I'm Cassie. I'm 26. I tend to not like people whom I do not know. People think I'm a real bitch until they get to know me. I am very opinionated and blunt. I also have a softer side and a sense of humor. You can take me as I am or just not speak to me. I am a protector. I'm told when I'm out front I have a very deep southern accent. I like earth tones and tigers a lot. I like to read books about the mid-west.
BECKA: Hi. My name is Rebecka but I prefer to go by "Becka". I am twenty-three and came here when someone tried to kill Leigh. I have an English accent (I have no idea how this happened) so if you ever talk to me, now you know what to expect. They say I'm the strict but loving one. I don't know about strict, but I do consider myself a mother figure. I am into philosophy and new age things, however I do not associate myself with any religion.
STACEY: Hey. I'm Stacey and I'm twenty-two. The reason I'm here is currently in prison and made us lose faith in any religious people in power. You will find not many here are Christian. Our core knows the Bible like the back of our hand, so there is no need to preach. (-; I'm generally very nice, fun, and they say I'm funny. I don't know if that's in regards to appearance or personality, but funny none the less. I like hippos and rhinos, and the colors orange and green.
PHOEBE: My name is Phoebe. I am also twenty-two. I'm generally easy to get along with but I have very bad anxiety and it tends to make me a little bitchy if you catch me during an anxiety attack. I won't go into why I'm here in a public place as I don't think Leigh really wants that aired to the world. I'm a Buddhist. I don't eat meat. I speak fluent Spanish as I'm Hispanic and my English is not always perfect. I love the color forest green, cats, butterflies, and classic rock music. I'm very quiet but not shy. I love to draw and doodle.
MARSHA: Hi. I'm Marsha. I age-slide between nineteen and twenty-two. We can't pinpoint why I'm here for certain but we have some ideas. I'm an addict and alcoholic but I've been clean for a good while now. I'm not very bubbly or happy, really, but I'm not unkind. I'm trying to find happiness and my place in this group.
PAGAN: What's up? My name's Pagan. I'm 19. The circumstances surrounding my arrival are not ones I wish to share with anyone, but I will say it involved rape in a way that was brutal and disgusting. Not that rape isn't always brutal and disgusting, but this was a little different. I had to save us and so I did. I'm not proud of myself for it, but glad I was able. I am also very quiet but am also very shy until I know you. I like the colors red and black. If I ever figure out a favorite animal or hobby or something, I'll let you know.
ANNA: Hey. My name is Annabelle but I go by Anna. I'm eighteen but a very old eighteen. Hence being in the adult journal and not the teen journal. My reasons for being here are similar to Pagan's but not as humiliating. I'm known for being a bit too flirty and sexual and a bit too slow to consider consequences. I know no other way. I am also very caring and gentle unless you hurt someone I love. That's when Hurricane Anna shows up. :-P I also like black and red. I really like horses. I like to sew.
BROOK: It started out as me, Brook, and I tended to change genders. I couldn't stand it. So, enter Marina. When she showed up as an extension of myself (but not a split as far as we know) I became a guy full-time. I like it this way but not being in a female body. As far as I know I came here due to therapy work, in which Leigh had to be shown a lot of what happened to this body as a child, which was living the trauma all over again. I've been here to help her learn that sex is not bad, she is not bad, and that she is stronger than she gives herself credit for. I have trouble speaking negative emotions but I am learning. Inside I am a vampire, along with Anna. Outside I'm stuck having boobs and a vagina. Go figure.
MARINA: I am Marina. My age changes a lot too, but always within the adult range... so far. *dun dun dunnn* I don't know how Brook did it and he has yet to tell me. Maybe he doesn't know. Inside, I probably look most like this body does outside. Though Stacey may be up there with me. I like things that have to do with Greece. I don't know that I actually have a heritage, but if I did I think I'd be Greek.
DUSTI: Hey. My name is Dusti and we think I'm 33-years-old. I'm a male-to-female trans woman. I'm new here so I'm still learning the ropes. If you find us on an instant messenger or call us, I'm usually co-fronting with someone and I talk a lot. I don't know my favorite stuff yet so I'll probably edit this later. See ya
EIRIAN: I don't know much about myself so I can't say much right now. But I'm a female, adult, and my name is pronounced: IRE-ee-ann. I'll say more later.